Se Arrepender vs. Lamentar: Regret Your Choice or Feel Sorry About an Event

Use se arrepender for regret about a choice

Arrepender-se commonly concerns looking back on your own choice and wishing you had acted differently. In Brazilian conversation, eu me arrependo and eu me arrependi are useful patterns. The pronoun changes with the subject: você se arrependeu, nós nos arrependemos. The feeling does not automatically tell you whether the choice can be undone; add that information if it matters to the discussion.

Keep de with the thing regretted

De connects se arrepender to a noun or an infinitive. It may contract with an article: de a decisão becomes da decisão. With a completed earlier action, de ter feito makes the sequence explicit. Do not force English regret doing directly onto the Portuguese verb without its usual connection. Learning one complete phrase, such as me arrependo de ter dito isso, keeps the relationship audible.

Use lamentar for sorrow or regret about a situation

Lamentar can express sadness or regret over an event, including something you did not choose or cause. It commonly takes a noun or a clause. Lamento o cancelamento expresses regret about the cancellation, but it does not identify you as responsible for canceling. The expression can sound more formal than que pena in a casual chat, so choose the tone for the relationship.

Do not confuse feeling sorry with an apology

Lamento can appear in an apology, but the verb alone does not always mean admitting fault. Someone might lament a friend's missed opportunity without having caused it. If you need to apologize for your own action, name it and use a clear apology such as peço desculpas. If you only want to express sympathy, avoid adding a responsibility claim that the situation does not support.

Turn regret into a specific next step

When discussing a personal choice, you can explain what you would do differently next time. This makes the sentence more useful than a vague statement of bad feelings. With lamentar, you might instead offer support or acknowledge the disappointing news. Keep the choice and its consequence distinct: regretting how you spoke does not necessarily mean withdrawing every point you were trying to make.

Practice before opening the answers

These are original written practice activities. Try a reply first, then compare the suggested answer and explanation. Other answers can work when they keep the intended meaning.

1. Original practice: You regret sending a message before checking it.
   Suggested answer and explanation

   Me arrependo de ter enviado a mensagem sem conferir.

   Se arrepender links your regret to your own completed action. De ter enviado makes the earlier action explicit.

2. Original practice: An event was canceled by someone else. Express regret without claiming fault.
   Suggested answer and explanation

   Lamento o cancelamento do evento.

   Lamentar expresses sorrow about the event. The sentence does not say that you made the decision or caused the cancellation.

3. Original practice: A woman regrets her decision. Complete the pronoun and contraction.
   Suggested answer and explanation

   Ela se arrependeu da decisão.

   Se matches the third-person subject. Da contains de plus a, connecting the verb to the feminine noun decisão.

4. Original practice: You regret an impatient tone but still need to discuss the issue.
   Suggested answer and explanation

   Me arrependo do tom impaciente, mas ainda precisamos falar do problema.

   The regret concerns how you spoke. The second clause preserves the separate need to discuss the underlying matter.

Try it with your own example

Explain a choice you regret and an event you simply feel sorry about. Keep practicing with the Real Life Portuguese app.